If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We are two peas in an std pod
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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