Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Say something about gay babies.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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