she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
