my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
