I want to stick my p in your. b.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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