some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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