Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize