Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
