Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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