I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
