how hairy? two words: wookie tits
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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