I puked a lego.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
