even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
