Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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