he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
