with your own penis?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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