do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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