I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize