gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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