New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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