Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
