you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize