ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize