We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
