My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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