Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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