So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
they need to just BURY HIM!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
