he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
