im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I would fuck him just for his dog
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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