TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
