How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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