I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
