We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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