You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
