i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
