Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
