This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And then he peed in my hair
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