Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
