Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
