Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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