What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
