Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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