You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
