Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
