sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
