Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
