It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
