we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
