I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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