Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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