u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
