I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
