im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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