at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
