Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm going to jail i love you
I don't think brook has ever known best
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
