so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
