"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
