Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
