Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize