I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You can't just leave with hair like that
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
