i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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