Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
