you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize