did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
