Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
