i will never coherently bang her
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
