**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
