i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
