he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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