I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
