i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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