Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
